I have gone to a number of meetings like this with my wife Joyce over the years. She has late onset M.S. and like so many in the room, has a variety of symptoms. She has good days and bad. Some of these meetings are very technical, with medical terms thrown around like a basketball on a court. Others, like this one with Dr. Rosenberg, are more down to earth, more real. These are the matter of fact talks that face reality head-on. M.S is a dreadful disease and at this time, there is no cure.

As I ate my delicious Italian dinner provided by one of the drug companies that makes a popular M.S. medicine, I found Dr. Rosenberg to be a folksy hero to many of the people in the room. He provided answers, solutions, and workarounds that made life better for so many patients in the San Diego area. As he finished his talk, he introduced the next speaker. I figured, like usual, it would be another doctor or healthcare provider. I wasn’t ready for the smiling young woman who walked to the front of the room.

She was blond, with hair in pigtails, and an engaging smile. She walked down the center aisle, making eye contact with everyone. She then broke out in song, singing lyrics from a country song, with a magnificent voice and a deep southern accent. The chorus went like this . . .

Wish I could roll out of town like a run-away train
I’ll do as I dare, let them call me insane
I’ll never sit on the sidelines of life, I’ll dance every dance
If I just had the chance

Julie Roberts then told her story in condensed form. She was an upcoming country music star. Record deals, live concerts, television appearances and even a movie deal. On stage with Reba and Blake Sheldon. Lights, camera, action. Then it happened.

During a concert, her vision went blurry.

Both hands then went numb.

Something was wrong.

Really wrong.

For months/years afterward, she was in denial.

She hoped the symptoms were gone

That they wouldn’t come back.

But they happened again.

Diagnosis: M. S.

Suddenly, her future was uncertain. The giant Hollywood door that was just about to be opened, was slammed shut. Record deals involving live concerts were canceled. Producers and agents stopped calling. Her vision and daily life were challenged.

She retreated to the refuge of Mama’s house and simply asked God; why?

The answer was slow in coming. The days got darker, the symptoms got worse.

Why did God close the door on so many good things?

Questions, anger, fear and a whole lot of tears followed.

But one thing that Julie found in those dark times was simple.

When God closes one door, he usually opens another.

Julie eventually found herself on a different stage.

Here in a restaurant in San Marcos California, two thousand miles from her home in South Carolina was a beautiful woman sharing a message of hope to an audience of people with symptoms just like hers. Many in the room with similar talents and visions affected by a dreadful, progressive disease. She shared her journey and some treatment options that helped her. While she still has a music career, she now has a voice to a whole different audience.

It’s easy to get down when things are taken away. It’s hard to be positive when you hurt and when your mobility is taken away.

Julie was the last person I expected to see at this meeting.

I expected doctors, nurses, and drug manufacturers.

I didn’t expect a twangy country girl in pigtails.

I expected another boring Powerpoint.

I expected fifty bullet points.

I expected to nod off.

Instead, I heard a song with lyrics that would affect my life, sung by a beautiful woman with an engaging smile and a silky voice.

God spoke to me through her words . . .

I’ll do as I dare, let them call me insane
I’ll never sit on the sidelines of life, I’ll dance every dance
If I just had the chance

I don’t have M.S. but her message rang true.

If I just had the chance.

The morning after I heard her talk, I found myself on an early morning photo shoot in La Jolla by the Scripps Pier. This is an iconic location favored by many photographers. The beach is long and flat, ideal for walking. Surfers love it for long sets of waves.

On this morning though, something was different.It was in the thirties and very cold on my hands yet there were over a dozen surfers in the water. The tide was way out. I had never seen it like this before. I felt like I could almost walk to the end of the pier on the sand. Many days the beach is covered with water when the tide is up. You can’t get past the pier. With the coastal hills jutting out, you are very limited how far you can go.

But on this cold morning, you could walk for miles down the coast. Parts of the beach that were usually under water were now walkable. Tide pools were opened up. Cliffs and caves now accessible. Things I had never seen before were now within a short walk.

If I just had the chance.

Now was my chance. I took advantage and walked down to coast into the Scripps Marine Preserve.

I saw so many beautiful things that had eluded me before.

The tide had gone out and opened up opportunities.

Yet I knew that it wouldn’t last for long.

The tide would come back in.

If I just had the chance.

In our lives, the surf goes in and out. Opportunities are presented, while others are taken away.

God opens doors and closes others.

When possibilities are presented.

Don’t sit on the sidelines.

Take the chance.

You could install a giant 1,000,000 watt light bulb in the middle of the stadium, but that wouldn’t be very practical and the light wouldn’t reach the edges. The glow would blind your audience, and half the light would just go up in the sky. Not an option.

You could install thousands of 100-watt incandescent bulbs at the top of the stadium, but the reach of a hundred watt bulb is just a few feet. The top of the stadium would glow, but the field would be dark. Here again, not a viable option.

You could install a few big spotlights, like in a theater house. Someone could aim them at the field, but this wouldn’t work well for a multiplayer game. You would have the reach with the light, but only part of the stadium would be lit at any one time. Not a good option, either.

The Best Option

The best way to light a stadium is to get a set of long reach spotlights and cluster them in groups. Multiply these group of bulbs all around the top of the stadium, with each group aimed at a different part of the field. Now you have full coverage of light. You have depth with the spotlights, and width with the placement of many bulbs. Now you have full coverage. Now you can seat 60,000 people and have everyone be able to see the action, without being blinded by the light from the other side. And since they are in groups, you have control. You can turn individual groups up or down and aim them different ways, depending on the event.

This is the concept of deep and wide.

In life, we can use this concept to make a great impact.

Imagine you want to start a church or non-profit organization. You start with a small group of focused people. This group has depth. Now just multiply this group by 10, then by 100, then by a thousand. Now you have width. Now you have a mega church or a worldwide organization like Toastmasters or Rotary. The concept of multiplied small groups or clubs is a powerful one. You have focus and depth with small group leadership. You have the width and diversity of multiple groups, and there is an overall leadership that guides the groups within the organization.

Imagine the Possibilities.

Let’s say you want to launch a new book. How do you get the word out? You could tell everyone on your Facebook page, but like a 100-watt bulb, you wouldn’t have much reach. You could tell a popular blogger in your genre about it, and they could put the word out to their thousands of followers. Now you have depth. Now all you have to do is tell 100 similar bloggers the same thing. Now you have depth and width, with hundreds of thousands of people hearing about your book. Focus this launch to a few days and you’ve got a concentrated message going out at once. That’s how you hit the bestseller list.

This is how popular authors like Michael Hyatt and Jeff Goins did it. They formed a group of like-minded bloggers on Facebook who were willing to get the word out. Then they set a launch date and offered everyone an incentive to buy their book during launch week. When launch day came, hundreds of thousands of people heard about the book. Since these were all people who followed bloggers in the same genre, they were ideal clients to buy the book. Within hours, the titles rocketed to the top 100 on Amazon.

This same technique can be used to sell products by bringing in affiliate sites who get a commission for selling your product. This is how Amazon and other large companies get the word out.

Deep and Wide: The Bottom Line

So here is the bottom line. If you want to fill a stadium full of people to hear your message, buy your product, or like your cause, you’ll want to use the concept of deep and wide. Find focused groups of people who have depth and desire, and multiply them by 10, 100 or 1,000. Offer them an incentive to get involved and you just may fill a stadium… Launch this multiple times, and your message spreads.

Deep and wide is how you truly can make an impact.

We have all seen the power of the laser beam. Completely straight and true, a laser beam can go for hundreds or thousands of miles without dissipating. Add enough power behind the light and a laser can cut through steel, brick or concrete. Compare this to a spotlight. While a focused spotlight can go for some distance, the beam eventually spreads out and dissipates.

So if we want to hit a target a long way away, we need a laser beam. A spotlight just won’t cut it. But here is the rub. To hit that target we have to have perfect aim. Since the beam is narrow, if we are just a little off, we will totally miss the mark.

Creating a spotlight is simple. It just requires a light source and a reflector. A laser is a different story. We need to pass our light through a device that removes all the frequencies we don’t want and totally focuses the beam. The process actually changes the nature of this light.

While standard white light is actually made up of a rainbow of colors, laser light is just one color or frequency (monochromatic). Using a process of mirrors, a laser drops all frequencies of light other than the one desired and the light output is cohesive and very directional.

A laser beam analogy for our lives.

To go great distances, we need to remove all distractions and focus our singular energy in one direction. We need an exact focus to hit the target.

A laser lifestyle requires a lot of planning. We need to come up with a way to block out all distractions and then put all our energy into one focused goal or target. We need to know exactly where that target is.

In his excellent book, Essentialism, Greg McKeown talks about blocking out distractions by saying NO to them. The idea is to block all unessential items and focus on just what is essential for our particular project. The more we say no, the more focused we will be.

While a spotlight (goal) can take us far, it eventually dissipates.

With a laser (very focused goal), we can go much further than we ever imagined.

Here is how this can work in real life.

Jeff Goins is a blogger who helps writers write. Over the last few years, he has focused his posts to spotlight writers in general. If you write, you are a target for Jeff’s blog. Jeff rarely strays from his subject. This spotlighted focus has allowed Jeff to amass a huge email list of writers. Through this email list, Jeff asked people if they would be interested in a writing course. For those interested, he created a signup page for more information. Out of the tens of thousands of followers he contacted, a few thousand showed interest in the course. It was to this sub-list that Jeff laser focused his Writing Course. He surveyed this group and found out what they were looking for. He asked a lot of questions and fine-tuned his material.

When Jeff launched his course, he knew exactly who his target audience was. It was all in one laser-focused list. Since he had surveyed the list he knew exactly how to configure the writing course offer. He only put in what was essential. The week that it launched, he had hundreds of people sign up for his $397 course, with some opting for an even more focused master course at a higher price.

Ultimate Focus.

By laser focusing his offer he was able to bring in hundreds of qualified people that he knew were interested in his course. He didn’t offer everything, just the essential items to his targeted group. When he fired the laser, it was for a limited time. This gave a sense of urgency.

As you can see from Jeff’s example, you want to start with a spotlight, and then refine your target smaller. The more you know about your target audience, the more likely you are to hit it.

Laser focus can help in a myriad of ways. It’s not easy, and it can take quite a bit of work before you can fire. But if you do your homework, aim carefully, you’ll hit your target most every time.

Think of the lowly 100-watt incandescent light bulb. It hangs from a light fixture, with its single filament glowing brightly. The light goes in all directions, yet not very far. The filament burns bright and hot and consumes a lot of energy. The life expectancy of the bulb is limited, and eventually, the filament will burn out.

For years, I lived the incandescent lifestyle.

I worked hard but didn’t get very far

My life went in all directions; I had no focus.

My filament burned hot but started to dim after time.

I went to work every day, where I sweated and toiled while complaining that I couldn’t get ahead. I came home tired and exhausted, following whatever whim the day brought with it. I would try all sorts of things, but nothing seemed to move me ahead. Slowly I came to the realization that I was stuck. My bright view of life slowly dimmed. It wouldn’t be long until my filament burned out.

Does that sound like you?

I lived this lifestyle for years. I used a lot of energy, yet it got me nowhere.

All I could see were other people living a similar way. A bunch of individual light bulbs, some brighter than others, yet all just throwing their light in all directions. Every once in a while, a bulb would dim…

And then it would go out.

I would feel sad, burn a little brighter, but it didn’t matter. My unfocused light would only go so far. My illumination only lit up a limited area. My vision was limited by my light.

New Technology

Then one day it happened. I saw some of the bulbs being replaced with shiny new compact fluorescent units. At first, they looked really strange, but I quickly noticed they didn’t use as much energy. I decided I needed this new technology. So I replaced my incandescent life with a more modern CFL equivalent. Now I gave off just as much light as before, but I didn’t have to work so hard. I burned much cooler, and I was told I would live much longer.

Yet my light didn’t go any further.

My modern technology filled life just added complexity, and I noticed I was getting fat. In fact, most all of the CFL’s were bloated, overweight, and had trouble starting at times.

I had replaced my life of hard work, with one behind a desk. I didn’t use as much energy, but I ended up fat, bloated and I had trouble coming to work.

Yet my light was the same.

I made a lot of changes, but it really got me nowhere. Sure, I might live a little longer, but I was really no different.

Life went on this way for a long time.

In fact, it would have gone on this way forever, but one day I looked at myself in the mirror. I didn’t like what I saw. Here I was with all my modern technology, yet I had really just added a lot of complexity to make the same light as before. And it was getting me nowhere.

Reflection

But then I noticed something curious. When I looked in the mirror, some of my light was reflected. I moved closer and noticed that even more light was reflected. I suddenly realized this reflected light was going further than ever before.

It all started to make sense.

Instead of giving off light in all directions, this mirror was directing light in a concentrated fashion. The closer I got, the more concentrated it was.

I moved around, and I saw that I could determine where my light went. By moving close and setting myself in the right position I could suddenly light up things in the distance. I could now see farther than ever before. I could determine where my light went in the distance.

I started to see new things, new vistas, new destinations.

I wasn’t stuck in my old ways anymore.

My light stopped going everywhere. Now it was going somewhere.

All by looking in the mirror and focusing my light in one direction.

It simply meant examining myself and setting a focused goal.

Determining, once and for all, where my light would go.

Then I kissed the incandescent lifestyle away.

Now I was a spotlight.

Focused, reflected, and going further than ever before.

Paul, on the other hand, is a nice guy, but when I sit down with him, his life seems somewhat tragic. He has a reasonably good job, but he is caught up in a cycle of negativity. Things are always going bad on the job. Life’s not fair. It’s always someone else’s fault. Yet as rotten as things are, he doesn’t really want to change. Month after month things stay the same. I’ve often wondered why he doesn’t change jobs, but he continues slogging through his daily routine, frustrated with the status quo.

It doesn’t take a crystal ball to figure out where these guys will be a year or two from now.

It really comes down to a simple fact…

Jeff has set some goals in writing, and is actively pursuing them.

Paul has no concrete goals and is somehow hoping that life will get better.

It’s really easy to see what the future holds…

It really comes down to the pictures below…

Jeff has created a succession of attainable goals, year after year, with ladder rungs spaced so he is able to climb them. Paul’s ladder has a broken rung. It’s not his fault, and certainly not fair, but he is stuck. He can’t go up, so he stays where he is, instead of fixing things or finding another ladder.

I’ve been on a ladder like Paul’s many times in my life. The broken rung is certainly an obstacle. Many times I’ve stayed way too long on a rung unable to climb further, because of pride or anger. It’s only when I’ve repaired the rung, or found a different ladder altogether that I’ve been able to move forward.

A dictionary definition of Success is listed as completing a worthwhile plan or goal.

While setting goals is the first step towards success, it’s not always clear sailing. To create a legacy of success, it’s helpful to look at some of the common pitfalls.

The Ladder to Success

 1. Multiple Goals: As we can see from the ladder on the left above, having multiple goals in the same area of life, at the same time, can quickly derail us. We can make initial progress, but soon competing demands will break the ladder apart. It’s best to say no to one and focus on the other. Greg McKeown’s book, Essentialism, is a helpful guide on the subject.

2. Gap In Knowledge or Skills: Looking at the ladder on the right above, we can see a major goal that has gaps. These are usually spaces in our knowledge or skills and require that we learn something new or bring someone else in with the experience and knowledge that we need. The solution is to spend time and money on a solution or find a different ladder. Goals with huge gaps that are unattainable often lead to frustration and ultimately… failure.

3. Enjoy the Journey: While setting goals is a major key to success, it’s easy to get burnt or stressed out if we constantly focus on the top step all the time. The secret to goal setting, is to realize it is a journey and focus on one rung at a time. Breaking a large goal up into action steps and then focusing on that single step will free us to concentrate on a single task, and be able to successfully complete smaller milestones along the way.

Goal Setting Solutions

To set goals for yourself, you might find my goal setting toolkit to be helpful. You can easily plan out short and long term goals and keep them top of mind.

If you really want to create a legacy of success, I recommend Michael Hyatt’s extensive Best Year Ever Course. It might be easier than you think to turn things around. Especially after you watch his video outlining the 5 characteristics of those who get what they want.

Overall: Don’t let a broken rung, negative attitude or wobbly ladder stop you on your journey to success.

Check out Jeff’s website for some of his positive insights.

Over time, the clutter innocently piles up and the dust collects. That gleaming clean island in my kitchen slowly takes on a life of its own. It’s like a micro clan of perps have taken up residence. Day after day, these miniature castaways setup lodging, reorganize and add things, and make sure anything important gets lost… all without my intervention. I’ve actually never seen one of them, but I know they are there. I imagine that one of them is probably named Gilligan, another might be the Skipper.

Once these perps have taken hold, it’s really hard to get control. You move something around, it magically comes back to the exact same spot that is was before. You throw something away, and it reappears days later. Meanwhile, the U.S. Postal service is feeding this island of misfits with a daily surge of fresh junk mail. The island residents make these into shelters, and high rises. Soon there are pathways between items, as the perps form a semi organized city. As the weeks go on, this city suddenly expands with new growth, as suburbs spring up in different directions. Soon the whole island is covered with urban junk mail sprawl.

I’d love to say I have this under control, but this micro Gilligan is ruthless. If I just move things around or take a piecemeal approach, my efforts are fruitless. Gilligan and his merry band of clutter marauders will just setup a redevelopment project and move the sprawl around. I’ve tried different tacts, but this micro menace always wins out. He obviously has reinforcements. At times, I have put my ear close to the surface, and I can hear them laughing at me.

Looking at my calendar the other day, I realized it was Holiday Party Time, and we were hosting. Horror and grief overcame me. These little bastards were ruining my life. I needed a plan and a way to overcome this horde of invaders. I needed to retake the island.

At first I tried a few mini salvos; I picked up a few items and threw them away. But within a few hours the island was back to normal. As the mailman drove away and the bags from the most recent grocery shopping trip were folded away, new items had taken the place of the old ones. It was now worse than ever!

I needed a nuclear option. I had to wipe out the whole Island at once.

Unfortunately, my wife has a soft heart and the thought of nuking the island was more than she could take. I’d mention it too her, but she just couldn’t bring herself to wipe out the shelters that these miniature inhabitants had so diligently built. I needed to get her out of the house and far away.

I set up a plan to have her go shopping, but after she left, I was hounded by my Cocker Spaniel, who seemed to be in cahoots with the island residents. Looking at the island, there were a number of dog toys and treats in different parts of the place. Sure enough, collusion with the enemy. Lulu would have to go away too, if I was to have success.

The next day, I set a plan in motion. My wife would take the dog to the dog park for a couple of hours. She knew I was planning something, but after some reassurance and promises that nothing would be missing, she hesitantly put the dog in the car and drove away.

Now I was Free!

I needed a few things for my attack, which I quickly assembled.

The first was an empty trashcan. This would suffice for the initial incursion.

Next was an empty kitchen drawer. This would serve as a holding pen for prisoners and a collection area for enemy booty.

The next was the most important. I brought in the digital kitchen timer, set to 50 minutes. This would insure that my attack was sufficient enough to be successful.

I lined up the trashcan, opened the kitchen drawer, set the timer, and then did two more things…

I turned off all distractions… cell phone, iPad, and computer…

And then one last item… I clicked on a Mark Ronson/Bruno Mars video, entitled Uptown Funk…

As the loud notes hit my ears, the timer was started, the battle begun.

I flew over the island once, taking out large targets with a quick throw to the trash can. Bam, blop, banished. Then I came in with a reconnaissance team, picking up necessary and important enemy items and stored them out of site in the kitchen drawer. This was followed by smaller targets to the trash. Soon I could see the island again. Within minutes the island was cleared and I set off a cleaning bomb, covering the entire surface of the island with agent orange oil.

Now that I had success with the main island, I headed for the mainland. I took on the granite fields around the stove and moved over to sink lake. Prisoners from this area were stowed in the dishwasher for later washing. Soon cleaning bombs were going off, and the shine from the immaculate granite was hurting my eyes.

I turned away from this area, took a 10 minute break and then headed out to do the same with other horizontal surfaces throughout the house… kitchen table, coffee table, end tables and china cabinet. With a replay of Bruno Mars singing, the battle this time was easier. Dirt and grime were destroyed, while the lemon scent of Pledge wafted through the air. With a final vacuuming run, the whole house was clean and presentable.

When my wife came home a few minutes later, she couldn’t believe her eyes. The house and especially the island had been transformed. She hugged me and smiled as only she can. I knew I had done good. I had won the war.

Unfortunately… my wife and her big heart couldn’t leave well enough alone. She opened the prison camp drawer and pulled out an envelope and put it on the Island. I was sure that Gilligan himself was inside. In a moment of incredible fortitude, I did what I had to do. I swooped in, picked up the envelope, dropped it back in the drawer. I looked my wife in the eye and said, “I love you, but we aren’t going to give them a start again.” With that, I shut up, took her by the hand, and offered to take her to a restaurant for dinner.

She smiled and kissed me, “Thanks for cleaning the house,” she said softly. “Prime rib sounds wonderful…”

I had struggled with cleaning the house, but the nuclear option had cleared the island. Problem solved, battle won!

My friend Sarah, on the other hand, is a very talented painter. She can take watercolors and a brush and visually create a masterpiece while simply looking at something to recreate it. Ask Sarah a question and watch her eyes. They go up and to the left, like they are accessing a secret part of her brain.

Jeff, the handyman at church, can work magic with wood, metal or plastic. Give him some basic hand tools and he’ll create you a birdhouse, mailbox, or an elaborate piece of furniture. If you have an item that needs to be fixed, let him go hands on, and he’ll have it working in no time. Ask Jeff a question and watch his eyes. They go down and look directly at the palms of his hands.

For years I noticed that when I talked with my friends that they often responded differently when asked a question. There was often a subtle difference in their eyes. Some would look up, some down and others from side to side. I never gave it much thought until I picked up a book by Nicholas Boothman entitled, Convince Them in 90 Seconds or Less: How to Connect in Business. In this interesting book, Nick explains there are three basic learning styles, and each one is generally accompanied by subtle eye movements when accessing the brain for recall.

The three styles are..

• Visual Learner: takes in data through the eyes. Tends to look up and to the left when asked a question.
• Audio Learner: takes in data through the ears. Tends to look from side to side when asked a question.
• Kinesthetic Learner: takes in data through a sense of feel. Tends to look down at their hands when asked a question.

Here is the interesting part. If you want to connect with someone new at a party or networking event, just ask them an insightful question that requires some thinking and watch their eyes for clues. You’ll be surprised how clearly these cues come across.

Nicholas then recommends matching your speech responses to the learning type of the person you are conversing with to build rapport.

• For visual learners, you might respond, I see what you mean, I can see where you are going with that. Can you shed some light on that.
• For audio learners, you might respond, I hear what you are saying, that sounds good.
• For Kinesthetic learners, you might respond, I can grasp what you are saying, I feel your pain. (This is why Bill Clinton was so popular)

Since the three types process data differently, by crafting response to their learning style, you’ll build rapport faster and better relate to the person. Conversations will be more substantial and the person you are talking with will feel like you really understand them.

While this process is not a 100%, I’ve noticed that it works well with a majority of the people I’ve talked with. Once I know a general learning style, I might offer visual information to one person, sound to another, and a hands-on example to someone else.

To get more info on this be sure to pick up Boothman’s book and take a look at my previous post, 3 Quick Ways to Network Better.

I’ll admit it. I’m a natural born introvert. Parties, mixers, and networking events are not the most comfortable places for me. Add to that, I’m also a kinesthetic learner, which simply means I’m a hands on guy. Unfortunately, kinesthetic people tend to look down when asked a question.

For years I had trouble with this. People would say that I was quiet and unengaging. Conversations lagged. I didn’t smile much and I just hated small talk. As a result, it was hard for me to build relationships with others. I’d give them my business card and never hear from them again. Phone calls weren’t returned. My rolodex was empty.

The bottom line was, if you met me at a networking event, I came across as shy and was likely to look down and away if you asked me a question. Not ideal for developing a trusting relationship.

Thankfully, in 2005 I discovered a book by Nicholas Boothman entitled How to Connect in Business in 90 Seconds or Less. This book literally changed my life. Soon I was making eye contact, and had a great smile. I became the life of the party with incredible conversations, and it all came about because of three simple tips he shared in the book.

Here they are…

1. Making Eye Contact: To naturally make eye contact with someone, just mentally make a note of their eye color. This forces you to look them in the eye, build rapport, but not stare at them like a zombie. As I started doing this it seemed strange at first, but soon became a habit. This made a tremendous difference with first impressions.
2. Smiling: To give someone a great smile when you meet them is not hard at all. Just say the word “great” under your breath a few times as you walk up to them. Within seconds that lowly frown will be replaced with a glowing smile. It sounds crazy, but it really works.
3. Asking Open Ended Questions: People love to talk about themselves. Instead of talking incessantly about yourself, ask the person you meet some open ended questions to draw them out. Notice what they are wearing and the things around you. Find questions that relate to the circumstances. Once you get them talking, they will think you are a very interesting person because you are talking about them.

Once I started using these tips, parties and mixers became fun. People treated me completely different than before. Conversations became lively and engaging. My rapport with others increased, and relationships formed.

The good news is, Nicholas has updated his book, which is now called Convince Them in 90 Seconds or Less: How to Connect in Business and is better than ever. You’ll not only learn the three tips above, but also how to relate to different learning styles, build rapport quickly, and package your personality for results. Soon you’ll discover the secrets to network like a pro.

Question: What Networking Tips Work For You?

It was my first speech at the professional organization I had just joined. Held on the 10th floor of a high rise building in San Diego, I was fearful of the business oriented crowd that I faced. The Master of Ceremonies introduced me, and then called me up to the front of the room and shook my hand. I turned and faced the audience. I was on.

The eyes in the room all followed me as I started to introduce myself. I told them my name and what I did for a living. Then I started in with some personal stories. I hadn’t been in front of a crowd like this before since High School. I was truly fearful that something bad might happen.

As I continued, I could see different reactions from the crowd. Some people smiled, others had a more intense look. Yet the reactions were friendly. I didn’t see any tomatoes or other vegetables about to be thrown my way. I moved on to the second part of my presentation and I noticed that the entire second row seemed to be really interested in what I had to say.

Then it happened. From the back of the room a green light suddenly came on. I knew from the rules that I had reached the minimum time for my speech. I now had two minutes to wrap things up. I continued on to my third point and soon the green light turned to yellow, urging me to finish. I wrapped up the story I was telling, gave a simple conclusion and then stopped. The audience started to applaud. The Master of Ceremonies shook my hand and I sat down.

My ice breaker speech was over. For six long minutes I held the attention of the audience. More importantly…

I didn’t die.

I didn’t make a fool of myself.

I survived to speak another day.

That simple six minute icebreaker speech also did one additional thing…

It scared the fear out of me.

For weeks leading up to the presentation I was fearful of the outcome. I just knew something bad would happen. As I wrote the speech out and practiced it at home, I could feel real apprehension. My mind kept making up excuses. I almost called in sick.

But there was something about the organization that kept me going…

Maybe it was a call from one of the members giving me tips on my speech preparation.

Maybe it was the helpful speaking guide, that kept telling me to keep it simple.

Maybe it was the greeter that welcomed me to the meeting.

Whatever it was, I made it through.

I survived my first speech.

I lived to tell about it.

I conquered fear.

The great thing about Toastmasters was the fact that each additional speech gave me more confidence. Soon, I actually looked forward to speaking. But it all came down to that first speech, and the encouragement from a noon time club, that helped me look inside and say to myself… you won’t die.

That was a day I’ll never forget.

It was a day that I came alive.

Thank You, Toastmasters!

For many people, the 50 minute time block is easy to setup and track. I use it all the time for social media, writing blog posts, writing fiction chapters, making follow up calls, exercising, and generally getting important things done. The secret is pushing the timer button. Once the clock is ticking and the distractions are off, the productivity begins. I work until the timer rings and then get up and take a break.

It turns out that getting up and walking around during this ten minute break may be extending my life. Current research has found that sitting for extended periods may be killing us. Here are some sobering statistics from a popular health newsletter.

• A 2012 meta-analysis found that those who sat for the longest periods of time on a daily basis were twice as likely to have diabetes or heart disease, compared to those who sat the least
• This recent study found that six hours of uninterrupted sitting effectively counteracted the positive health benefits of a whole hour of exercise.
• One of the most recent studies in this field found that just one hour of sitting impaired blood flow to the main leg artery by as much as 50 percent!

However, here is some good news….

• On the upside, simply taking a five minute walk for every hour spent sitting was found to ameliorate the heart disease risks associated with chronic sitting.
• For intermittent movement, the key, experts say, is to avoid sitting for more than 50 minutes out of each hour.

Given this research, setting up several 50/10 minute sessions during the day may be the key to not only better productivity, but better health as well.

I like to set up three or four 50 minute sessions back to back. That way I can keep distractions to a minimum, and multiply their effectiveness. With the addition of good cardiovascular news, these sessions may be helping my heart as well. These sessions have been my key for writing numerous books and producing over a thousand blog posts over the years.

I’ve also found that a regular 50 minute session during the day of walking/interval running helps me feel better and be more alert.

Overall, the 50 Minute Solution  has multiple benefits.

Why not pick up a digital timer, set it for 50 minutes and get started today. Just remember to get up and take a walk at the end.